OPERATION YX

In case anyone in reading thought this is some military operation, some gaming name or new mathematical equation, it is not. I have come to a point that I have ran out of ideas and I thought this is the best name. So, this operation was conceived by daddy and mummy (actually mostly mummy >.<) who desperately want to solve yx's separation anxiety every morning to childcare.

Background

Yx started her childcare in school on 1 July and her initial performance was documented here and then later here. However, I did not mention about her crying every morning as I thought it would be a passing phase, at most for 3 months but it went on till beginning of January this year and we were so glad that the ordeal of having to see her cry every morning was over. Unfortunately, in February, she reverted to her old habit of crying again. 

The initial 2 months was a combination of crying as soon as we reach the door step of childcare, inside the childcare and occasionally whining. This situation improved slightly after the 3rd month where she no longer needs her comfort toy, aka the bear-bear pillow. The only consolation was that she cried only in the initial part where we have to part with her at the door/gate, and she stopped her nonsense within 15 minutes or less after she stepped into the centre. We did whatever was advised (read execution below), or anything that we thought could help her base on our observations, but to no avail. 

Daddy wanted to change school or stopped going to childcare initially but after discussion, both options were out:

To change childcare

1. her own self - she needs to learn how to adapt to changes, be it change of teachers, classmates etc. Changing a new environment does not mean she could cope with it, rather things could backfire. It doesn't solve the root of the problem if she could not accept changes. 
2. the centre - if she is not learning anything or she displays withdrawal symptoms even after stepping into the classroom, then there could be something wrong with the school (or even her learning abilities) but we have heard her singing, reciting poems etc sometimes at home and we did not teach her those songs at home. We also confirmed with teachers that she picked up quite fast but is shy and reserved at times and will keep herself at arms' length with other children if she is not comfortable with them. She is now more opened after being familiarised with her classmates and she would rattle off names of some of her classmates and tell us what they were doing during lessons. I am actually amazed by her ability to imitate sometimes. 

Analysis - Why did she cry every morning but was alright within minutes after stepping in?

1. There was an improvement but reverted again in February - change of teachers (one of her favourite teachers quitted and we could sense the loss in her speech "qx 老师剪美美的头发没有回来了."
2. She is not feeling secure. (which we are still finding out why if it is true even after 4 months since the reshuffling of teachers, as whatever we promise her, we will keep our promise, thus I think establishing trust is not an issue.)
3. She prefers her favourite teacher to be the one opening the door and bringing her into the classroom.
4. She finds it boring in the morning. 
5. It has become a habitual routine. 

There were 2 occasions where she didn't cry and stopped crying respectively:

1. She heard there was a story-telling session and she ran to the teacher without hesitation.
2. She was picked up by her favourite teacher who was on afternoon shift.

Planning 

Every Tue and Fri: Mummy to fetch yx to childcare
The rest of weekdays: Daddy to fetch yx to childcare

However, due to other practical reasons (such as work schedules, business travel, mum's/ in laws' schedule etc...) the above arrangement could not be really "fixed". Anyway, this also indirectly teaches yx to adapt to whoever is fetching.

Execution

OPERATION YX phase I - What we have done from July 2013 till 27 June 2014:

1. Went to school for 1/2 a day every day for a week although it was supposed to be 3 days only to get her to get used to the environment.
2. To drop her off quickly and make our departure short and sweet.
3. Ask her why did she cry in the morning, reason things out with her
4. Imitate teacher checking her temperature, hands and feet to prepare her 
5. Gave her pep talk before sleeping
6. Gifts as reward #
7. Use alternative reward system such as smiley faces sticker to encourage her
8. Make video of her saying that she is not going to cry in the morning and then show it to her before going to cc the next day. 
9. Sing songs, nursery rhymes

OPERATION YX phase II - Started from 30 June 2014 (after meet the parents session on 28 June that we will try the following):

1. *No pep talk at night (nothing on going to school, only normal story telling, songs and lullaby)
2. *No showing of video (as it is likely to add stress to her even though she laughed about it when shown to her)
3. *No mentioning of crying or anything related. (only chat with her what her friends did, what she enjoyed doing)
4. *No asking of why are you afraid of teacher xx (she kept saying that she is afraid of teacher xx whenever we ask her why she cry in the morning, and after discussion with the teacher xx, we decided not to ask to prevent her from using that as an excuse and also saying just for the sake of saying.)
5. If she asks "are we going to school today?", just divert the question to some other activity and if she persist, just answer her positively, "oh we are going to play with your friends and teachers." The rule is always make it positive and be excited when answering. 
6. Continue to drop her off quickly and make it short and sweet. 
7. Mummy to fetch her daily - if possible.(as daddy felt that she is more "attached" to him. urgh,...is that daddy's excuse? bleh~)

Note:
# We only use the "gift-buying" technique twice and stopped as we did not wish to turn it to a kind of transaction and this will instil wrong moral values to her. In both instances, there wasn't any change in her behaviour as well.
* Done for phase I and disregard for phase II

Result 

It has been 2 weeks since phase II started but it is still too early to say anything. Her reaction has been fluctuating. Let's see how by end of July. 

Any tip/advice from mummies or daddies is greatly appreciated. ={