Operation YX - Updates

Conclusion following my post after 1 month.......THE SAME.

I didn't see much improvement, or rather slight improvement in the beginning when I was the one doing the fetching for that whole week. Then again, her reaction fluctuates especially on Mondays. So I can say her behaviour is still quite predictable, the only variable is at which point (during commuting, walking towards the school, at the gate, or at the shoe rack) does she start to ask questions, whine and cry. Woah, how I wish she is the share price...sure win..big time! >..<

And the common responses from the mummy group in Facebook is that it is quite normal for them to cry at this age and they will slowly outgrow it.

Summary of comments from mummies with similar experiences:

1. "Favourite teacher" syndrome
2. More toys at home, thus prefer to play at home than in school
3. Jealous of younger sibling, wants more attention
4. All kids are different. Some may take longer time to adapt, as long as they are progressing well and stops crying after a while, one doesn't need to be overly concerned.
5. One child is opposite of mine - loves going to school, but throw tantrums after coming back from school. Most likely grabbing attention from parents due to younger sibling.

Sigh...so tiring to face this every day ... every morning ... when I am in my zombie mood and I have to look and sound excited and uplifted.

SUPER SIAN.

Blue !

Blue is the color of the sky and sea. It is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven.
Blue is considered beneficial to the mind and body. It slows human metabolism and produces a calming effect. Blue is strongly associated with tranquility and calmness. In heraldry, blue is used to symbolize piety and sincerity. Source: Colour Wheel Pro

This color is one of trust, honesty and loyalty. It is sincere, reserved and quiet, and doesn't like to make a fuss or draw attention. It hates confrontation, and likes to do things in its own way.
From a color psychology perspective, blue is reliable and responsible. This color exhibits an inner security and confidence. You can rely on it to take control and do the right thing in difficult times. It has a need for order and direction in its life, including its living and work spaces.
This is a color that seeks peace and tranquility above everything else, promoting both physical and mental relaxation. It reduces stress, creating a sense of calmness, relaxation and order - we certainly feel a sense of calm if we lie on our backs and look into a bright blue cloudless sky. It slows the metabolism. The paler the blue the more freedom we feel.
In the meaning of colors, blue relates to one-to-one communication, especially communication using the voice - speaking the truth through verbal self-expression - it is the teacher, the public speaker.
The color blue is idealistic, enhancing self-expression and our ability to communicate our needs and wants. It inspires higher ideals.
Blue's wisdom comes from its higher level of intelligence, a spiritual perspective.
Blue is the color of the spirit, devotion and religious study. It enhances contemplation and prayer. On the other hand, blue's devotion can be to any cause or concept it believes in, including devotion to family or work.

Blue is the helper, the rescuer, the friend in need. It's success is defined by the quality and quantity of its relationships. It is a giver, not a taker. It likes to build strong trusting relationships and becomes deeply hurt if that trust is betrayed.
Blue is conservative and predictable, a safe and non-threatening color, and the most universally liked color of all, probably because it is safe and non-threatening. At the same time blue is persistent and determined to succeed in whichever endeavors it pursues.
Change is difficult for blue. It is inflexible and when faced with a new or different idea, it considers it, analyzes it, thinks it over slowly and then tries to make it fit its own acceptable version of reality.
Blue is nostalgic. It is a color that lives in the past, relating everything in the present and the future to experiences in the past. Source: empower yourself with color psychology 

So perhaps that is why she strives on more tranquil environment and seeks more order in life? I am not really into colour psychology but I am just curious why she likes blue so much as teacher commented that she chooses blue for almost everything when during colouring and I also observes that she is adamant in getting blue items to play if she were to choose, not to mention getting excited when she sees blue ribbons, blue balloons, blue whatever ............oh yes, and she LOVES blueberries. 

I was wondering is it because I watched Smurfs before I gave birth to yx and kept singing the lalalalalala (Sing a happy song) Smurfs song to her in the evenings? zzzzzzz.... 

妈妈你为什么没有陪我?

yx have been asking me every other day "妈妈你为什么没有陪我?"
(Why didn't you accompany me?)

ouch.

She is referring to accompany her to sleep at night.

Actually, I did, but every time she was asleep when I went over to her room as I have to ensure that yr is asleep before I go over. In the past, she had undivided attention and now each of us has one to take care at night.

So I have to answer her frankly and explain, "有，妈妈过来了，但你睡着了。你总是睡到乱七八糟,妈妈要帮你换睡姿,还记得吗？"

ok," 睡到乱七八糟" is like totally wrong usage, but that's my best way of putting it across directly that she is sleeping all over the place in awkward positions, so I have to adjust her body. So I explained in English again to ensure that she understood my point.

But she concluded simply, "yr在, 妈妈陪yr, yr不在, 妈妈陪yx", which is also not completely wrong. My dear gal.....*slaps forehead*

OPERATION YX

In case anyone in reading thought this is some military operation, some gaming name or new mathematical equation, it is not. I have come to a point that I have ran out of ideas and I thought this is the best name. So, this operation was conceived by daddy and mummy (actually mostly mummy >.<) who desperately want to solve yx's separation anxiety every morning to childcare.

Background

Yx started her childcare in school on 1 July and her initial performance was documented here and then later here. However, I did not mention about her crying every morning as I thought it would be a passing phase, at most for 3 months but it went on till beginning of January this year and we were so glad that the ordeal of having to see her cry every morning was over. Unfortunately, in February, she reverted to her old habit of crying again. 

The initial 2 months was a combination of crying as soon as we reach the door step of childcare, inside the childcare and occasionally whining. This situation improved slightly after the 3rd month where she no longer needs her comfort toy, aka the bear-bear pillow. The only consolation was that she cried only in the initial part where we have to part with her at the door/gate, and she stopped her nonsense within 15 minutes or less after she stepped into the centre. We did whatever was advised (read execution below), or anything that we thought could help her base on our observations, but to no avail. 

Daddy wanted to change school or stopped going to childcare initially but after discussion, both options were out:

To change childcare

1. her own self - she needs to learn how to adapt to changes, be it change of teachers, classmates etc. Changing a new environment does not mean she could cope with it, rather things could backfire. It doesn't solve the root of the problem if she could not accept changes. 
2. the centre - if she is not learning anything or she displays withdrawal symptoms even after stepping into the classroom, then there could be something wrong with the school (or even her learning abilities) but we have heard her singing, reciting poems etc sometimes at home and we did not teach her those songs at home. We also confirmed with teachers that she picked up quite fast but is shy and reserved at times and will keep herself at arms' length with other children if she is not comfortable with them. She is now more opened after being familiarised with her classmates and she would rattle off names of some of her classmates and tell us what they were doing during lessons. I am actually amazed by her ability to imitate sometimes. 

Analysis - Why did she cry every morning but was alright within minutes after stepping in?

1. There was an improvement but reverted again in February - change of teachers (one of her favourite teachers quitted and we could sense the loss in her speech "qx 老师剪美美的头发没有回来了."
2. She is not feeling secure. (which we are still finding out why if it is true even after 4 months since the reshuffling of teachers, as whatever we promise her, we will keep our promise, thus I think establishing trust is not an issue.)
3. She prefers her favourite teacher to be the one opening the door and bringing her into the classroom.
4. She finds it boring in the morning. 
5. It has become a habitual routine. 

There were 2 occasions where she didn't cry and stopped crying respectively:

1. She heard there was a story-telling session and she ran to the teacher without hesitation.
2. She was picked up by her favourite teacher who was on afternoon shift.

Planning 

Every Tue and Fri: Mummy to fetch yx to childcare
The rest of weekdays: Daddy to fetch yx to childcare

However, due to other practical reasons (such as work schedules, business travel, mum's/ in laws' schedule etc...) the above arrangement could not be really "fixed". Anyway, this also indirectly teaches yx to adapt to whoever is fetching.

Execution

OPERATION YX phase I - What we have done from July 2013 till 27 June 2014:

1. Went to school for 1/2 a day every day for a week although it was supposed to be 3 days only to get her to get used to the environment.
2. To drop her off quickly and make our departure short and sweet.
3. Ask her why did she cry in the morning, reason things out with her
4. Imitate teacher checking her temperature, hands and feet to prepare her 
5. Gave her pep talk before sleeping
6. Gifts as reward #
7. Use alternative reward system such as smiley faces sticker to encourage her
8. Make video of her saying that she is not going to cry in the morning and then show it to her before going to cc the next day. 
9. Sing songs, nursery rhymes

OPERATION YX phase II - Started from 30 June 2014 (after meet the parents session on 28 June that we will try the following):

1. *No pep talk at night (nothing on going to school, only normal story telling, songs and lullaby)
2. *No showing of video (as it is likely to add stress to her even though she laughed about it when shown to her)
3. *No mentioning of crying or anything related. (only chat with her what her friends did, what she enjoyed doing)
4. *No asking of why are you afraid of teacher xx (she kept saying that she is afraid of teacher xx whenever we ask her why she cry in the morning, and after discussion with the teacher xx, we decided not to ask to prevent her from using that as an excuse and also saying just for the sake of saying.)
5. If she asks "are we going to school today?", just divert the question to some other activity and if she persist, just answer her positively, "oh we are going to play with your friends and teachers." The rule is always make it positive and be excited when answering. 
6. Continue to drop her off quickly and make it short and sweet. 
7. Mummy to fetch her daily - if possible.(as daddy felt that she is more "attached" to him. urgh,...is that daddy's excuse? bleh~)

Note:
# We only use the "gift-buying" technique twice and stopped as we did not wish to turn it to a kind of transaction and this will instil wrong moral values to her. In both instances, there wasn't any change in her behaviour as well.
* Done for phase I and disregard for phase II

Result 

It has been 2 weeks since phase II started but it is still too early to say anything. Her reaction has been fluctuating. Let's see how by end of July. 

Any tip/advice from mummies or daddies is greatly appreciated. ={

yx in trench coat

How do I look mummy?

I want to turn inside out .....

I was packing my luggage one week before I fly this afternoon and I thought it might be a good idea to involve yx in my packing so as to prepare her for my absence for a week. Furthermore, she could learn what exactly what it means when we say travelling on a plane, like why we should pack our clothes etc.....and also learn how to fold the clothes (ok, actually mess around mostly >.<) while having fun. I am not sure how much this gets into a head but she loves touching and feeling important that she is 'helping' mummy. haha !

Portrait of yx and yr ?

I am really amazed by how Frans make a timelapse video to record his daughter's growing up journey from from newborn to teen by documenting her photos every week!

I have photos though....but maybe not every week.

Hello Stella !

S o it's time for us to meet and for me to 

T hank you personally and  

E xpress my gratitude for 

L ending me the breast pump

L et's keep in touch 

A nd organise another gathering with other mummies soon

I must say I can't part the pump which has served me well for the past 10 months. She is due end April (perhaps earlier since it's her second delivery) so she needs to standby the pump. It's a pity that I forgot to take some mug shots with Stella and the food...haha..we were busy eating and yakking away....

To me, it was quite funny - I felt like a blind date lol cos we never see each other before since my dad helped me picked up the pump and we just communicate via facebook or smses. Nonetheless, it was a nice catch up and the best part is I could do some shopping before heading back to my kids. *evil grin*

Stressed. Tired. Stressed. Tired. Stressed. Tired. Stressed. Tired.

I haven't been having 'me' day for a super long time. 

It's quite frustrating that every time my leave is just for the kids, to catch up some sleep or to nurse a cold. 

I need a day to just do nothing. really. just read a book, some fashion magazines, surf net, listen to music, laze around ...basically just relax. but no. I haven't got the chance to do that. 

To make things worse, yx has been whining and crying every morning since beginning of March. Her behaviour actually improves alot this year and by February she could wave goodbye and enter the childcare gate happily without struggling for mummy or daddy. But ever since one of her form teachers left and her favourite teacher went on leave for a few days, coupled with the new teacher and students, she went on an emotional ride again. It took her almost half a year to adapt to the teachers and students and I reckon these changes made her feel insecure. 

I tried breaking things down into pieces and reason things out for her, but it seems like she still need more time. 

Me: Did you cry this morning?

yx: (sheepishly) yes...

or sometimes:

yx: (no answer, smile and uses bear pillow to cover her face) 

Me: Why did you cry this morning?

yx: cos scared of teacher. 

Me: Which teacher?

yx: ..............

I am still trying to help her to adapt to changes and I hope she is able to overcome it and emerge a better person. This is definitely an important life lesson for her. =_=

why? why? why?

So this March marks the launch of asking "Why" by my dear gal. 

Here's why:

1. Why do we go to school?
2. Why xyz doesn't come to school?
3. Why do we poo-poo?
4. Why must I sit on the potty?
5. Why do we brush our teeth?
6. Why do we need to sleep?
7. Why do we wash our hands?
8. Why. 
9. Why.
10. Why.

I must go refresh my knowledge before she asks questions like:

• Why do we drink water?
• Why do we yawn?
• Why is the sky blue?

and also ...er... "Where did I come from?"

=|

THINK! for everyone .......

source: Facebook

Thought this is a good general reminder for me and the kids....

Xmas "present"

Guess what? Hub spent Xmas eve and Xmas @ KKH A&E with yx this year.

2:00 am+ : yx was coughing non-stop, and feeling breathless
2:30 am: hub rush her to kkh while I stayed home with yr
3:00 am: On express queue - on breathalyser and then take x-ray, need to wait for 1 hour for medication to take effect and review x-ray
4:00 am+: condition stabilise, and she is her normal self again, singing and talking to herself.
5:00 am: reach home ZZzzz.....

Apparently, her body is trying to cough out the phlegm but as we gave her cough syrup earlier, it is opposing what the body is doing which caused the breathlessness. So now is kindda tricky: should we give her cough medication when she cough? And I have yet to know the definite answer. It's really like a "damn if i do damn if i don't" kind of situation. One thing for sure is that she should not be consuming Salbutamol - a drug that helps to open the airways- on a long term basis, cos this might lead to Asthma as cautioned by the doc.

This is the 2nd time she was on breathalyser. The previous time was in November at the paediatrician. I hope she don't have to go through this again. Sometimes I really hate the fact that she has to go to childcare but then again, she will face similar issues when she goes to school where she will also be exposed to bacteria, and viruses. It's heart-breaking to see her cough at such tender age, I really hope her body will be stronger next year.

Toilet Roll

mummy, may i bring some toilet paper out?

Oh well, this is pretty random, but I just can't help laughing when yx took the toilet roll and starts tearing the paper. This pic got me thinking..... do you prefer toilet paper facing outward or inward? I prefer the former although I think hub prefers the later (or maybe couldn't be bothered as long as there is paper when needed..LOL). ok, whatever.

(1) paper facing outwards

(2) paper facing inwards

Wedding Anniversary Lunch @ Chez Petit Salut

We celebrated our wedding anniversary one day earlier. At last, we can have some quiet time to ourselves at least for 3 hours.

Half dozen baked Burgundy snails, tomato fondue & garlic butter

Special of the day: Duck Sausage Salad

Special of the day: Pork Cutlet

“Poulet au vinaigre” Roasted chicken in vinegar, creamed polenta

Classical Crème Brulée

Special of the day: Three layer cake - chocolate, strawberry & cheese

Desset @ The Daily Scoop :
Slurping Cookie Monster  & Butter Avocado

Think the food is kindda overrated. The pork cutlet tasted too salty for my liking and the meat is not that juicy. Perhaps the main branch (Au Petit Salut) at Harding Road might be better. Anyway, it's not the food that matters now but the company. Happy 5th year anniversary, thanks for everything dear.

谢谢

Instead of saying good night 晚安, she uttered 谢谢爸爸, 谢谢妈妈 before falling asleep.

ok, she said  谢谢爸爸 first, no fair *pout*  =}

O_o

oh, letter O, how much I love you so. =}

Disaster strikes again!

So after HFMD, this time is diarrhoea.
Hope she will be better after taking lactoguard gut flora.
Everyone is down in the family except yr.
Hope the antibodies in my breast milk can protect yr from these viruses.
More updates later ......

My two kiddos @_@

Sigh it's getting harder to take photos now. 1 active toddler and 1 demanding baby. =|

”左拥右抱“: Embracing my 2 cutie pies

飞越迷雾 ... Breathe

Seeing the current haze in a different light ... 2 songs came into my mind:


歌曲：飞越迷雾
歌手：周华健
作词：厉曼婷
作曲：大泽誉志辛

没有花  蝶儿不知归路
不见月  星光也模糊
世间事  笼罩层层迷雾
恍惚间  听见有人哭
你迷了路  觉得人心不古
山高水低看不见来时路
你迷了路  爱恨悠悠忽忽
峰回路转逾走不出白云深处

飞越迷雾 把生命看清楚
明明白白掌握你的路
经过跋涉之后你总能够
拨云见日  重回到最初

不见爱  大海是串串泪珠
没有风  船儿谁来渡
世间人  夜来时阵阵孤独
黑暗中  你左盼右顾
你迷了路  觉得人心不古
山高水低看不见来时路
你迷了路  爱恨悠悠忽忽
峰回路转逾走不出白云深处

飞越迷雾 把生命看清楚
明明白白掌握你的路
经过跋涉之后你总能够
拨云见日 重回到最初

你迷了路  觉得人心不古
山高水低看不见来时路
你迷了路 爱恨悠悠忽忽
峰回路转逾走不出白云深处

飞越迷雾 把生命看清楚
明明白白掌握你的路
经过跋涉之后你总能够
拨云见日 重回到最初

飞越迷雾 把生命看清楚
明明白白掌握你的路
经过跋涉之后你总能够
拨云见日 重回到最初



Song: Breathe
Singer: Midge Ure
Written & Composed: Midge Ure
Producer: Richard Feldman

With every waking breath I breathe
I see what life has dealt to me
With every sadness I deny
I feel a chance inside me die

Give me a taste of something new
To touch to hold to pull me through
Send me a guiding light that shines
Across this darkened life of mine

Breathe some soul in me
Breathe your gift of love to me
Breathe life to lay 'fore me
Breathe to make me breathe

For every man who built a home
A paper promise for his own
He fights against an open flow
Of lies and failures, we all know

To those who have and who have not
How can you live with what you've got?
Give me a touch of something sure
I could be happy evermore

Breathe some soul in me
Breathe your gift of love to me
Breathe life to lay 'fore me
To see to make me breathe

Breathe your honesty
Breathe your innocence to me
Breathe your word and set me free
Breathe to make me breathe

This life prepares the strangest things
The dreams we dream of what life brings
The highest highs can turn around
To sow love's seeds on stony ground

Breathe
Breathe

Breathe some soul in me
Breathe your gift of love to me
Breathe life to lay 'fore me
To see to make me breathe

Breathe your honesty
Breathe your innocence to me
Breathe your word and set me free
Breathe to make me breathe


yr and myself have been staying in the air-con room most of the time now.
Seriously, I don't know when this haze will end but what I know is our life should not turn hazy because of it. hmm.

Confinement Lady II Review

Her background in brief:

• Malaysian, born in 1956 in KL, now stays in Pontian
• Has 4 children 
• Dialect: Foo-chow (Fu-zhou) but converse mostly in Cantonese and Mandarin
• Has vast experience in taking care of babies; speciality: taking care of twins 
• Good cook, used to help out dad in hawker stall
• had prior training in Mount Alvernia Hospital
• was working in an agency for 9 years prior to freelancing after getting more word of mouth services

=)

• understands benefits and woes of breastfeeding; able to massage to relieve engorgement ( she managed to squeeze as much milk out from my breast as the other using my Avent single electric breast pump within the same time frame, haa...)
• understands the frustration as a mother during confinement - sweating, breastfeeding, etc
• Excellent cook - knows all types confinement food and can mix and match ingredients well, cook according to your taste - not too salty or sweet; I got so sick of soup noodles for breakfast that she tried to change types of noodles and do her style of "rotti chennai" for me. 
• clean up the kitchen properly - mop the kitchen after cooking 
• sweep and mop the floor on alternate days 
• able to soothe the baby from crying; understand baby's temperament fast  
• did not take afternoon nap (actually I am quite ok with her taking short naps in afternoon but since she did not, I leave it to her); watch tv for 1-2 hours at night and then sleep around 11:00 pm (sometimes even earlier depending on situation) after the night feed
• prepare food at night for tomorrow (where necessary if she thinks she needs more preparation)
• takes initiative - refill water for washing hands, drinking (even refill with hot water if she deems too cold for usage in the morning); clear rubbish bins for toilets and kitchen everyday
• made small cotton balls from the big roll while watching tv to help save costs buying packets of ready-made ones
• hand wash baby (definite) and mummy (if small amount and the washing machine is not full) clothings 
• clean and tidy up the whole kitchen thoroughly the night before she left

=(

• very chatty - will yak non-stop sometimes about her past confinement experiences, her family etc...(lol, but at least I got my mum to entertain her; being someone who needs more personal spaces than others, I really suck at small talk when I am not in the mood, especially during sweaty confinement period, not to mention breast engorgement sometimes.) 
• feel that she can be quite manipulative and shamelessly proud of her capability sometimes.
• Doesn't look as pleasant as the previous - but I am ok, no point having someone who looks nice but  can't deliver up to your expectations. sometimes we just can't get best of both worlds.
• slack slightly towards the last week (sigh, being human beings ... I can't expect full 100%) 
• take my part time helper for granted and get her to help even when she can do herself
• not sure if she drank some of my vsop as she poured one cup to boil with chicken and herbs but the amount looks lesser than before. I asked casually why it was so little, she answered in an offended tone that the alcohol will evaporate and she can't drink since it will be extremely heaty for her. However, she complained to my mum that she was having ulcers the next few days. Big question mark here. 

Last day of confinement, it's time to slog again......

So here I go again: Daily Routine

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz