Stressed. Tired. Stressed. Tired. Stressed. Tired. Stressed. Tired.

I haven't been having 'me' day for a super long time. 

It's quite frustrating that every time my leave is just for the kids, to catch up some sleep or to nurse a cold. 

I need a day to just do nothing. really. just read a book, some fashion magazines, surf net, listen to music, laze around ...basically just relax. but no. I haven't got the chance to do that. 

To make things worse, yx has been whining and crying every morning since beginning of March. Her behaviour actually improves alot this year and by February she could wave goodbye and enter the childcare gate happily without struggling for mummy or daddy. But ever since one of her form teachers left and her favourite teacher went on leave for a few days, coupled with the new teacher and students, she went on an emotional ride again. It took her almost half a year to adapt to the teachers and students and I reckon these changes made her feel insecure. 

I tried breaking things down into pieces and reason things out for her, but it seems like she still need more time. 

Me: Did you cry this morning?

yx: (sheepishly) yes...

or sometimes:

yx: (no answer, smile and uses bear pillow to cover her face) 

Me: Why did you cry this morning?

yx: cos scared of teacher. 

Me: Which teacher?

yx: ..............

I am still trying to help her to adapt to changes and I hope she is able to overcome it and emerge a better person. This is definitely an important life lesson for her. =_=

Xmas "present"

Guess what? Hub spent Xmas eve and Xmas @ KKH A&E with yx this year.

2:00 am+ : yx was coughing non-stop, and feeling breathless
2:30 am: hub rush her to kkh while I stayed home with yr
3:00 am: On express queue - on breathalyser and then take x-ray, need to wait for 1 hour for medication to take effect and review x-ray
4:00 am+: condition stabilise, and she is her normal self again, singing and talking to herself.
5:00 am: reach home ZZzzz.....

Apparently, her body is trying to cough out the phlegm but as we gave her cough syrup earlier, it is opposing what the body is doing which caused the breathlessness. So now is kindda tricky: should we give her cough medication when she cough? And I have yet to know the definite answer. It's really like a "damn if i do damn if i don't" kind of situation. One thing for sure is that she should not be consuming Salbutamol - a drug that helps to open the airways- on a long term basis, cos this might lead to Asthma as cautioned by the doc.

This is the 2nd time she was on breathalyser. The previous time was in November at the paediatrician. I hope she don't have to go through this again. Sometimes I really hate the fact that she has to go to childcare but then again, she will face similar issues when she goes to school where she will also be exposed to bacteria, and viruses. It's heart-breaking to see her cough at such tender age, I really hope her body will be stronger next year.

4 days before he turns 6 months old ......

Hi mum, can I have more toys to bite?

boo hoo ..... I can't eat the ice-cream, only "eye-power" ...

cough cough cough cough ............

Yes, yx is coughing ....... AGAIN.

Mummy Suqi actually recommend tui na at Yu Guo, but Kembangan is not too near and the queue is usually super long. Furthermore, given that she doesn't like people to touch her (even her own bro!!) would worsen the situation. Anyway, out of desperation, we brought her to Eu Yan Sang clinic at Rivervale Mall after hearing some good reviews from friends and also affirmation from mummy Ellice.

The TCM physician looked at her tongue, throat and palms before diagnosing that she had 风咳. She was given a week's dose of powder and the total cost $51.65 (inclusive of consultation which is $14). It is coming to a week and she is getting slightly better, hopefully she doesn't get into a relapse.

I understand that Chinese medication would take a longer time to recover as compared to the Western medication. As long as she recovers and builds up her immunity, I am happy.

Let's see how it goes. Seriously, I am still feeling a little sceptical if the powder would be effective for her body. I hope I am wrong. =(

Sick Sick Sick!

yx has been sick for the past 4 months :

• July - HFMD (1 week after she started childcare)
• August - Diarrhoea
• September - Cough, running nose 
• October -  Cough, running nose and more cough!

So what's next? I really hope her immunity is stronger now after all these episodes. Seriously, if this goes on, I don't think I can ever bring her for any outing. Imagine being sick for 1 week, and then take another 1 week to recover only to go into relapse again but a milder one for 1 week and then before you know, another month starts, and the cycle goes on. Fortunately, she is still active but I am afraid the virus is just taking a toll on her overall health. sigh... I think maybe I can start plotting trend lines on her number of times she fell sick in a year......grrrr.. 

Guess what? She hasn't been to any of the places of interests yet in Singapore. damn sua gu. It's like every time I scheduled an outing, she will be down with something. So what's next? I better not plan anything. It's medicine, vitamins, water and more water for now; if she is well for November, that's a super big bonus to me. Wish me luck for November. 

ZZZzzz

hmm... very comfy with pillow and bolster.

 Imagine how I have to sleep when he were to sleep like this at night. Many nights to come ...... sigh.

Super man!....er no Super boy!

hmmm....my armpit smells so nice.... LOL...

I just love to see my kids sleep. They look so cute when they sleep. It's also the time when I could have a breather. =]

Disaster strikes again ! - updates

My horoscope in LIFE! today states:

Try something healthy and fun today - a new kind of workout, a nutritious treat or maybe even a dance class. You need to take care of yourself but it does not have to be a drag.

Urgh, take care of myself...yes, but it is a drag. My immunity broke down after daddy has been coughing non-stop for the past few days and his condition worsened with diarrhoea last Friday after yx who vomited on Wed after coughing really badly, followed by diarrhoea.

31 Aug 2013 Sat:
Took porridge at night and then started vomiting almost every hour non-stop since past midnight. I was practically rolling and cringing my stomach at the corner of my bed every hour. At one point, it was really so bad that I just sat on the floor on a praying position. Before every vomit, I will turn feverish and after every vomit, the feverish symptoms subsided and my stomach felt better. This cycle went on for 7 times throughout the night before I force myself to wake up to see the doctor in the morning.

I was given:

• An injection for immediate relief of vomiting 
• Dimenate 50MG- to curb vomitting
• Biotase Tablet - to curb abdominal wind and flatulence

I felt much better after injection and slept the whole morning. Then I took Dimenate tablet again in the afternoon but I didn't take any Biotase as I wanted to check if my condition improve without taking more tablets. Indeed, I was feeling alright so I stopped all medication. I continue pumping but saves the milk for washing my hands and feet although it should be quite safe for baby to drink.

I thought the worse was over but that was just the beginning.

1 Sep 2013 Sun: Sore throat starts, drank loads of water and honey
2 Sep 2013 Mon: Took Chericof lozenges amd Lysozyme (leftose). felt better.
3 Sep 2013 Tue: Sore throat worsen, excruciating pain. took Lysozyme (leftose) again just to relieve the pain
4 Sep 2013 Wed: can't take it anymore, went to see doc.

I was given:

• Prednisolone 20MG - Anti inflammatory (5 Tab - must complete)
• Amoxycillin/Calvulate acid 625MG - Antibiotic (10 Tab - must complete)
• Beathricin Lozenge - Throat lubrication, relieve itch/pain; anti-inflammatory with mild anaesthetic
• Chlorpheniramine (Piriton) 4MG - Running nose & itch

After checking with doc, the viral attack stems from yx and it has mutated to different forms in different bodies and that is why my body reacted quite differently from her and my hub.

So what now? I am almost halfway through the course of antibiotics. Although it has cleared up the sore throat, my body has developed greenish yellow sticky phlegm around my lungs to spit up as part of the detoxification routine to flush out the "dirts". My throat has also turned drier which makes it more susceptible to dry cough when the night turns chilly. Ok, this is the better of the worse. The good news is my appetite is coming back which means I can go for nutritious treats, but no workout or anything fun yet. =\

Disaster strikes again!

So after HFMD, this time is diarrhoea.
Hope she will be better after taking lactoguard gut flora.
Everyone is down in the family except yr.
Hope the antibodies in my breast milk can protect yr from these viruses.
More updates later ......

Buttock Rash Cream

yr's collection of buttock cream since day 1.

At last his buttock rash is better after 2 months+. Really atas baby. yx uses only Drapolene. =|

yx Immunisation History (Vaccination Certificate)

screen shot of yx's vaccination certificate

yx has finally "graduated" from the immunisation college for children from age 0-18 months. No more going for jabs until she goes to primary school. phew!

It's good that the government now made the 5-in-1 booster (5-in-1 combination vaccine that protects against haemophilus influenzae type B, diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough and polio) and Hepatitis B vaccines FREE from June 2013 at all polyclinics. So basically we pay practically nothing on Tuesday except Panadol (in case she develops fever) for $0.70. =)

Coming up next would be her 3 years development assessment at the polyclinic which we can only schedule her later as the system can only take appointment up to 1 year only.

Just printed the certificate from the HPB website. 

1. Go to HPB Website
2. Click on "Check Immunisation" on the right column

3. Login with your NRIC and singpass 

4. You will then see the following announcement from HPB

Headlines

* It is important to request for a copy of Certificate of Vaccination from your Doctor when your child completed the vaccination according the Childhood Immunisation Schedule. The Certificate of Vaccination is one of the document required for Primary One Registration. * You can print the Immunisation History which is the equivalent to the immunisation certificate and it is acceptable by MOE for Primary One Registration

5. Click on "Check Immunisation" on your left column
6. Key in your child's particulars.
7. Click on search
8. You can down view and download your child's vac cert in pdf.

Post Natal Review III

Details:

Who: A very down to earth  free lancer recommended by my prenatal yoga instructor
Duration: 5 days, 1 hr per session
Charges: SGD 300 for 5 Sessions (or SGD 400 for 7 Sessions)
Services: 6 Massage sessions, 1 massage for baby.
Complimentary items: Baby Telon oil, ginger cream and corset
Inch loss on tummy:  hovering between 30 to 31  =( [initial 34 to 31.5 (from the first massage after giving birth to yr)]
Overall Weight loss: 55 kg to 53 kg
[initial 59 kg to 55 kg (from the first massage)]


=)

1. Good pressure. Knows all the critical points.
2. Excellent binding skills. Follow the traditional binding in which you are being rolled like a mummy with a corset and then a long cloth, tightened with the safety pin.
3. Very hygienic - change the cloth daily. 
4. Knows when to chat and when not to.
5. massage with relaxing music (yes she brought along her portable mini mp3 player!)
6. Punctual and no nonsense. Will sms you if late and will stick to the schedule.

=(

1. once date and timing fixed, very hard to change as she is always fully booked. 
2. cream and oil not spicy enough (but I am still fine with her oil)
3. as she collects the cloth and corset daily, you will have to keep them in a bag after you use it on the last day. She will come and collect from you during the weekends or other days. (not a big issue to me though)

If only I can have the sauna, all towels provided (from the last post natal massage), together with her experience massaging techniques and her systematic approach, then it would be a very good and comprehensive post natal massage. But I think it is very hard to get best of everything. Well, I don't mind asking her to do ad-hoc massaging for me once in a while if her schedule permits to relieve my achy muscles. =}


My previous massage review listings:

Dental Visit II & Jabs

Dental
It has been almost 6 months since the last dental check up. I am impressed that NDC actually had revamped the corner into a mini play area for kids. yx was definitely having a good time while we waited for the nurse to call out her name.

We thought we could exhaust her so that she will have lesser energy to struggle when we see Dr Bien Lai. But we were so wrong. Fortunately she likes the banana taste fluoride. No cavity detected but we still need to brush her teeth diligently especially after the night feed which is quite tough as she just doesn't want to open her mouth while she is sleeping. 

At the end of the check up, we were given a cute black and pink toothbrush and Elgydium toothpaste. As usual, doc advised us to brush her teeth regularly. The next check up would be in Jan next year. Hopefully by then, hub doesn't need to play the brushing game with her or to coax her to brush teeth every morning. =|

5-in-1 and MMR 2nd dose

She is supposed to go for the jab at Seng Kang polyclinic but since she is at NDC, we might as well do it at the Outram branch which is just next door. 

Poor gal Dental check up + 2 jabs in one day. Hope she doesn't have nightmares tonight.

Night Terror?

yx has been crying almost every hour some nights last weekend and early this week. The thing is when she wakes up in the morning she smiles at you when you say good morning and seems like she has no recollection of what had happened the night before.

I read this and we suspect it is due to over stimulation at the child care so when she comes back we let her play more "quiet" activities like reading some stories to her and also let her play her cooking set... etc and then slowly wind down to sleeping mode. We also on the air-con (set to 27 degrees since she is quite prone to running nose if the temperature is too cold and she just recovered from running nose) so that she feels more comfy. We have seen some improvements, so far she has stopped crying at night. Hopefully this will not happen again. *fingers-crossed*

YR's Feeding Schedule

YR feeding schedule* has now stabilised after 3 weeks of monitoring and "tweaking".

So a typical day would go like this:

1. 4:00 am 
2. -------- 5:00 am to 5:30 am pumping time  -------- 
3. 7:00 am  
4. 9:30 am
5. 1:30 pm
6. 4:30 pm
7. 6:45 pm 
8. 8:30 pm 
9. 9:30 pm 
10. Towards 10:30 pm (ending) Fast asleep....Zzzz
11. 4:00 am ...... cycle continues ......

Note:
- Timing refers to starting time
- Above timing +/- half hour
- 1 breasts for each timing
- spends approximate 0.5 hour on each breasts
* exclude growth spurts, crankiness for whatever reason.

My next hurdle:

• How to wean him off my nipple and at the same time able to remember how to latch (haha, I always like best of both worlds solution BUT it is always not the case. =| ) 
• How to NOT suck my nipple for comfort at night before dozing off.

Post Natal Massage Review II

Details:

Who: A happy-go-lucky freelancer recommended by one of the mummies in Facebook
Duration: 7 days, 1 hr 30 mins per session
Charges: SGD 500 for 7 Sessions
Services: 7 Massage and 6 sauna sessions, 1 ear candling (on the last day) for mummy and 1 massage for baby.
Inch loss on tummy: 34 to 31.5 (still a far cry from my original 27.........=\ , I should have done it earlier for better results but I still feel some pain around csect area so I wait till week 6)
Overall Weight loss: 59 kg to 55 kg (also due to breastfeeding)

=)

1. The sauna is really new to me - I mean, she creates her own "steamed bath" by wrapping me in many towels with a pail of hot water underneath the chair. I felt refreshed after the steaming. Can't imagine myself sweating like crazy within 20 mins !
2. Pressure on back is good for me, able to relieve my achy joints.
3. Loves her own blend of essential oil - spicy yet not too prickly on my skin. can help burn my fats... lol
4. She bring her own towels, chair and pail so I don't have to prepare. Just need to have pillow and mattress. 

=(

1. Text on her mobile while massaging areas where she can manage with one hand (hinted her at some point and she tones down but still continue periodically)
2. I feel that her binding skills is not as good as my previous therapist. She only knows how to use single strings instead of double strings binding. 
3. Not very punctual, there was once she was late by 2 hours. (other times late by 10 - 15 mins, i am ok since I am struggling with my baby too.)
4. yak yak yak...ok she is quite chatty, can be quite annoying when you are tired and wanna sleep. But ok, at least starts only from the 2nd half of the massage. Then again, you learn something too.

As compared to my last post natal massage, this seems to be more value for money. However, if one wants to have the binder then perhaps have to ask her if she has a new one as she uses her own set and only lend you for the 6 days of massage. The last day you have to go without the binder unless you have one yourself. For me, I have one from the previous massage, so I got her to bind for me. 

yx down with HFMD

blisters around the groin area

After seeing 3 docs, yx is now confirmed with HFMD. urgh, just thought when everything is gradually going to be back to normal, we have to battle with this virus:

• 5 July - Fever
• 6 July - Fever subsided; blisters around groin area
• 7 July - Blisters around groin area increase, 1 ulcer detected by family doc, some pimple like dots appear on her hands, and 2 beside her mouth
• 8 July - To Polyclinic for 2nd dose of MMR and final 5-in 1 jab, doc said most likely HFMD (as no blisters on palm, feet) and need to monitor and have to postpone the jab; MIL insists that we see another doc so yx sees the 3rd doc in the evening and I am impressed that this doc was very thorough - have antibiotics to prevent blisters from spreading big patches and lotion to reduce redness. 
• 9 July - Redness subsided. No spreading of blisters. 
• 10 July - some blisters cleared.

I am still wondering where could the source be, as I doubt it is from the childcare since she is the only case. There was one case last month but she just joined the childcare on 1 Jul and she has been going to the playground. Anyhow, she is under quarantine at my MIL's place for a week and hopefully by this week, she is cleared.

Since HFMD spreads through saliva (ie liquids into the body), the only way to prevent is to tell her NOT to put her hands into her mouth (which is very fond of doing so !!!).

Looking on the bright side, let's hope her immunity gets stronger especially now that she is going to childcare.

Confinement Lady II Review

Her background in brief:

• Malaysian, born in 1956 in KL, now stays in Pontian
• Has 4 children 
• Dialect: Foo-chow (Fu-zhou) but converse mostly in Cantonese and Mandarin
• Has vast experience in taking care of babies; speciality: taking care of twins 
• Good cook, used to help out dad in hawker stall
• had prior training in Mount Alvernia Hospital
• was working in an agency for 9 years prior to freelancing after getting more word of mouth services

=)

• understands benefits and woes of breastfeeding; able to massage to relieve engorgement ( she managed to squeeze as much milk out from my breast as the other using my Avent single electric breast pump within the same time frame, haa...)
• understands the frustration as a mother during confinement - sweating, breastfeeding, etc
• Excellent cook - knows all types confinement food and can mix and match ingredients well, cook according to your taste - not too salty or sweet; I got so sick of soup noodles for breakfast that she tried to change types of noodles and do her style of "rotti chennai" for me. 
• clean up the kitchen properly - mop the kitchen after cooking 
• sweep and mop the floor on alternate days 
• able to soothe the baby from crying; understand baby's temperament fast  
• did not take afternoon nap (actually I am quite ok with her taking short naps in afternoon but since she did not, I leave it to her); watch tv for 1-2 hours at night and then sleep around 11:00 pm (sometimes even earlier depending on situation) after the night feed
• prepare food at night for tomorrow (where necessary if she thinks she needs more preparation)
• takes initiative - refill water for washing hands, drinking (even refill with hot water if she deems too cold for usage in the morning); clear rubbish bins for toilets and kitchen everyday
• made small cotton balls from the big roll while watching tv to help save costs buying packets of ready-made ones
• hand wash baby (definite) and mummy (if small amount and the washing machine is not full) clothings 
• clean and tidy up the whole kitchen thoroughly the night before she left

=(

• very chatty - will yak non-stop sometimes about her past confinement experiences, her family etc...(lol, but at least I got my mum to entertain her; being someone who needs more personal spaces than others, I really suck at small talk when I am not in the mood, especially during sweaty confinement period, not to mention breast engorgement sometimes.) 
• feel that she can be quite manipulative and shamelessly proud of her capability sometimes.
• Doesn't look as pleasant as the previous - but I am ok, no point having someone who looks nice but  can't deliver up to your expectations. sometimes we just can't get best of both worlds.
• slack slightly towards the last week (sigh, being human beings ... I can't expect full 100%) 
• take my part time helper for granted and get her to help even when she can do herself
• not sure if she drank some of my vsop as she poured one cup to boil with chicken and herbs but the amount looks lesser than before. I asked casually why it was so little, she answered in an offended tone that the alcohol will evaporate and she can't drink since it will be extremely heaty for her. However, she complained to my mum that she was having ulcers the next few days. Big question mark here. 

Jaundice Results

Level as at 4 June 2013: 11.60 =(

Doc advise us to alternate breast milk with powder.

Sigh. My girl didn't latch on well due to my csect wound (and partially my fault - due to my incompetence in getting her latch on) and this time, with experience, my boy is latching on well and enjoys breast milk BUT now I have to alternate with milk powder due to jaundice. What an irony.

Now my boy looks a little chao da (due to the daily "sun-tanning") which makes me even more frustrated!! >.<

My birth story

18 May 2013, Saturday

1. 2:00 pm+: did exercises to try turn the baby naturally and speak to baby
2. 4:00 pm+: went to playground with hub and yx, having erratic contractions, sat on the bench while hub played with yx
3. 11:00 pm+: hungry, ate some porridge and on the way back to kitchen, I felt something watery down under and I realised I was bleeding. Mucous plug suspected to be out. 
4. 11:30 pm: went to sleep, whole night feeling slight cramps; did breathing exercises throughout the night

19 May 2013, Sunday

1. 2:00 pm: slight cramps, felt like pooing
2. 3:00 pm: hub went to playgroup with yx without me. 
3. 4:00 pm+ - 6:00 pm: felt like pooing again; pooed about 4-5 times in a day
4. 7:30 pm: Dinner - chicken rice
5. 8:20 pm: head to the hospital; mild contractions coming 8 mins apart
6. 9:00 pm: discussing with Dr Benjamin Tham, he was not too happy that I came in 1 day later after I had some bleeding but I told him that my contractions was not regular. Dr did a vaginal examination, I was told that:
• I had dilated 2.5 cm; could feel baby's toes near my cervix
• dangerous to try VBAC due to the transverse lie (see images below)
• Likelihood umbilical cord might be coming out first which is dangerous
• I shouldn't be too "foolhardy" (yes that's the word he used, but it's ok, I don't mind him being forthright) "to pursue a dream" that is beyond the circumstances. 
7. 9:30 pm:  decided to go for csect; Dr Lo Wai Kit, the anaesthetist suggested spinal block which is more straight forward than epidural
8. 9:45 pm: push to operating theatre
9. 10:05 pm: Spinal block given; shivering all over (side effects); could feel numbness slowly set in, surgery starts after confirmation from me that I couldn't feel any pain; used visualisation techniques to relax myself
10. 10:30 pm+: baby out; hub took pictures of me and baby 
11. 11:00 pm+: Surgery completed; wheeled to ward 

My baby was lying in this position (head on my left):

Taken from Google images search

but this would be a "better" transverse lie - less dangerous as the umbilical cord is not facing outwards but inwards:

Taken from Google images search

After surgery, Dr said that he had a hard time trying to get baby's head out first, thus I felt lots of tugging and pulling around my tummy. As expected, the umbilical cord was out and he has to shoved it in immediately. In the end, he tried getting baby's legs out and then quickly the head which explains baby was a little blue when he came out but regain colour gradually.

The next day, I asked Dr if ECV could have helped turned the transverse baby, and he replied "in retrospect, you have made a timely decision to go for csection. I wouldn't advise you otherwise given the circumstances. I can't forecast accurately but given the position and your dilation, it is fortunate that your waterbag did not break, else it could really have been a mad rush." 

After thoughts

I am really glad that both baby and myself are safe and healthy.

If only:

• I have done more exercises to try turn the baby naturally (but then again, I knew on Friday after seeing Dr Paul Tseng that the baby turn again from head down to transverse; and even if I have known earlier, it is also unknown that if the exercises would successfully turn the baby - but the thought of - at least "I did ALL I can" would reduce my guilt.)
• I see Dr Paul maybe 2 days earlier, actions would have been taken earlier - more exercises and make appointment with Dr FM Lai for 2nd opinion. (I am supposed to go see Dr Lai on Monday but just too bad....)
• I go for chiropractic therapy as advised by Eunice - another vbac mummy few months ago. (not 100% guaranteed but at least just try.)

Fortunately, I was mentally prepared for csect and also given the types of anaesthetic a thought so the experience was not as bad as before. Am I going for number 3? haha, it's almost definite that the answer is negative. I can't imagine having an unsuccessful vbac2. It's gonna be quite a toll on me I guess.

Well, if only, if only. Life's like that. There is nothing I can do now but just give my best to baby and my family. We love you yr.